I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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