so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
