How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
it hurts more in the daytime
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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