My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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