1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize