Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Randomize
