thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
