Hey man sorry I got all grabby
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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