it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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