I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
