no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
