I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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