Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize