i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
