So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
