Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
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