How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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