he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
