yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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