my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize