Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
