My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
