There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
