you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
