well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
