Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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