Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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