I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
