I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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