Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Green mimosas i think yes
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
