Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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