If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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