How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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