Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
