So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
where am i from again
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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