In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
