"it" just moved
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
