I got her a Nickelback box set.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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