You really coming over, don't trick.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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