Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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