I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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