You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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