Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
