i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
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At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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