I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
