No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
