The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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