Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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