The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
