we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
