turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We're too hungover to prance.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
