so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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