I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
