Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
