I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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