Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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