Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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