you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
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I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
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WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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