I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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