wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
