is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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