Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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