I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
