i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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