I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
