It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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