jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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