Christians are straight up FREAKS
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Someone signed my nipple.
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