So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize