I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
third nipple confirmed
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
