Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
