Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
